My thoughts on Germany have pretty much subsided in the past couple of days due to the amount of time I've spent in a whirlwind of complete busy. I finally, after a month of searching in this wretched Chicago rental market found something decent. I am now living downtown, complete with the spandex faced ladies, women made of plastic and little white dogs galore (even more than Lincoln Park). I am farcing a tad though, because actually it's pretty nice. Walking distance to four deep dish joints, Whole Foods, Trader Joes and some of the best sushi in the city. I face north, straight east to the lake and to my left the endless west that borders Chicago. My walk commute to the temp job is twenty minutes, what I pay in rent I make up for in saved commuting and taxi costs.
The restlessness that I have been feeling has still plagued me, possibly remnants of staying on my father's couch for a month. Not quite knowing where I should be, or where I should go and the suitcases sprawled on the floor taunting me like a small child. I am not quite settled in my place, boxes are being hidden under beds with the hope I can will them to disappear. Uncovering photo frames and remnants of my life a year ago is more than jaunting to my already overloaded psyche. My mood frustrates me, trying to ignore the fact that I have been gone for a year and snap back into life like a new lego set.
Monday night I slept in my bed for the first time in 13 months. I waited diligently for those 13 months, usually I hype things up within myself so much that I end up disappointed - this was not one of those times. It was probably one of the most glorious nights I have had in a long time. I thought about all my beds from this past year...
- Dorm bed at Georgetown University, complete with a spider problem and sunken mattress.
- Extra small twin bed in Radolfzell, too short for me to stretch out and hard as a rock.
- Normal sized twin bed at the dorm building in Radolfzell, very comfy and welcomed relief.
- Twin dorm bed in Stuttgart, similar mattress to the one in the Nurse's office in High School.
- Double bed in Berlin, wonderful, puffy and European, treated myself to four pillows.
- Bunk bed at the YMCA in New York, under jet lag a wood board would have been fine.
- My dad's "looks comfortable" couch that always managed to suck me into the side.
As in the previous post, I just need to give myself time and stay optimistic - it's like I am changing back to normalcy and I don't know how to handle it.
The restlessness that I have been feeling has still plagued me, possibly remnants of staying on my father's couch for a month. Not quite knowing where I should be, or where I should go and the suitcases sprawled on the floor taunting me like a small child. I am not quite settled in my place, boxes are being hidden under beds with the hope I can will them to disappear. Uncovering photo frames and remnants of my life a year ago is more than jaunting to my already overloaded psyche. My mood frustrates me, trying to ignore the fact that I have been gone for a year and snap back into life like a new lego set.
Monday night I slept in my bed for the first time in 13 months. I waited diligently for those 13 months, usually I hype things up within myself so much that I end up disappointed - this was not one of those times. It was probably one of the most glorious nights I have had in a long time. I thought about all my beds from this past year...
- Dorm bed at Georgetown University, complete with a spider problem and sunken mattress.
- Extra small twin bed in Radolfzell, too short for me to stretch out and hard as a rock.
- Normal sized twin bed at the dorm building in Radolfzell, very comfy and welcomed relief.
- Twin dorm bed in Stuttgart, similar mattress to the one in the Nurse's office in High School.
- Double bed in Berlin, wonderful, puffy and European, treated myself to four pillows.
- Bunk bed at the YMCA in New York, under jet lag a wood board would have been fine.
- My dad's "looks comfortable" couch that always managed to suck me into the side.
As in the previous post, I just need to give myself time and stay optimistic - it's like I am changing back to normalcy and I don't know how to handle it.
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