The Things

You know, you go through your life always hoping and wishing for certain things. Things that you always think, "If A, B, or C would happen...then my life would be good and complete." Regardless of what the actual consequences are, these A's, B's and C's seem to infiltrate one's mind into convincing them that they are the pivotal events that need to happen, until one can be truly happy. Then, we put our efforts into said things and realize...when or if we make them into realization, that all along we were happy and they didn't need to happen anyways.

With those things we crave, come those things that we disdain. Whatever they may be, you can't assume that those wishes coming true will make you happy -- said actions or results in your life should not be the source of your happiness -- the happiness needs to come in the everyday. Catching a great cloud form should make you happy, feeling at peace in the evening should make you happy, looking at the sky should make you happy. But, even then, your happiness is dependent on other things. I think the true happiness lies in being able to be at peace, with whatever you do - find the good in it - even if the good comes later.

I've spent the majority of my life going towards these goals that I thought would make me ultimately happy. Those things that would be the be-all and end-all to my world and make it complete. I've come to realize recently, however, that in general life is pretty decent...putting my sunglasses on in the morning bus, the walk home in the evenings, the glass of wine while I listen to my favorite song. All of these are sweet moments in the everyday routine that I've come to savor. These are the things that I miss when I am away, these are the things that give me comfort. Outside of my comfort, new experiences give me the fuel to realize how the things we disdain usually are ultimately the things we love.

In general, I'm a physical person. I take joy from taste, touch, smell and hearing. Some people are visual, others are mental -- but for me personally -- I like to physically feel what is around me. The way the room smells, the way the fabric feels and how that wine tastes. Hot breath on a frosted window, handprints on a mirror and scraps of paper on the floor. These small, every day things give me a sense that the world is right and I'm all right with it as well.

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